Donate Some Sparkle to Some Very Special Girls

I volunteer at a non-profit, state-run childrens' home, and for obvious reasons I wish to be discreet and will not publish the name of the facility on this blog. "The mission of the childrens' home is to provide a continuum of superior quality, outcome focused, preventive and therapeutic services addressing the emotional, physical, educational and spiritual needs of children and families in a steadfast effort to help all become self-sufficient, contributing members of society" (from the website). Understandably, when you live your life almost totally on a campus (school, housing, dining, socializing) and you don't have too much contact with anyone outside the campus (parents who have either abandoned or are not in contact, are abusive, or are not supportive, etc.etc.), it is the little things that you get you really excited.

Next month, the home will host its annual prom. The prom takes place in a large assembly hall on campus. Basically, the big exciting part is getting to dress up and feeling good about yourself. Many of the girls on campus have never -ever- dressed up before, or even worn something that makes them feel pretty. Last year, several of the girls were nearly in tears (of joy) after getting dressed up because they "didn't know [they] were pretty."

The reason I am writing this is that as a group of femmes, I know that you understand how vitally important it is to have time to feel good about yourself; especially when you are young.

The home pulls off nearly everything special that happens on campus by donation. They do not buy prom gowns, they do not buy jewelry, shoes, panty house, hair clips, or special makeup etc. for the girls. The school accepts donations, stores them in a large closest, and then the girls get to go "shopping" in this large closest shortly before prom. After the prom, the girls return their dress to the closest to (perhaps) be used the next year. Obviously, many of the dresses they currently have are very pre-owned. Also, they have a wide range of sizes on campus (I think from O-24) and not all of the dresses may fit the girls.

I am asking that if you have any formal wear at all that is gathering dust in your closest that you donate it to the home this year. Whether it is a seperate or a full gown these girls will make use of it. Also, any shoes/jewelry/tiaras you have that you want to donate would be gladly accepted. You cannot know how much joy it brings these girls to have a special dress up night.

If you would like to donate anything (dresses, jewelry, hair clips, tiaras, accessories, pantyhose, shoes, or makeup) please let me know asap and I will come to you or meet you at the place of your choosing for pickup.

You can contact me via email: hinterland.femme@gmail.com with any questions you may have (including the name of the facility!) and I will answer. If the shipping is a grievance for you, please let me know that, and I will do what I can to help.

THANKS!!

Sex Toys WTF? Revison

Soooo, Mr. Man just gently reminded me that we did fuck with cancer dick. He said I need to say that: "We completely covered both ends in condoms in -encased it- so that none of the evil reality of what lay beneath touched us. And, that we highly enjoyed ourselves."

**Blush** What can I say?

Mr. Man adds "we are currently seeking a non-deathly, healthy replacement. "

And, I have to say it was kinda cute when were just talking about this because he said that "he feels like a bad provider." But, in reality he is not, because I spent an inordinate amount of my spring spring break on me knees or on my back. grin.

Sex Toys WTF?

Right. I'm somewhat new to the world of sextoys. I've only experienced my first one as of October. Needless to say, I'm a fast learner, ahem.

So, sextoy industry can we talk?

I get that you make a lot of novelty items to that people purchase for bridal showers and bachelor parties. I get that we buy these items to tease one another. I get that maybe a rather large group of the people who manufacture this stuff are prolly youngish guys who like to giggle about poop. . .

But that in no one explains the failure of so many of your toys!

Mr. Man bought us an extra special, very-much-anticipated, meaty double ended dildo. It was decent looking and we were thrilled. But, then we opened the package and a smell of sicko chemically plastic burning over nitric acid stench reeked through the ENTIRE HOUSE. Ever the optimist, Mr. Man washed this item over and over and then left it in the soapy sink overnight to soak. . . TO NO AVAIL. It still smelled horrible. And, in a bizarre set of circumstances, I decided to lick the area where the double ended dildo had touched my hand. OMIGOD. It tasted salty and spicy and very, very, very, freaky!!!

Both of us were way too spooked to fuck with it.

We named it "Cancer Dick"

Now, let me tell you something. NO ONE, and I mean NO ONE buys a 18 inch long, 2.5 diameter, double ended dildo for shits and giggles. They plan to use that thing, and let me tell you. A dildo that tastes like the spicy-taco-that-might-kill-you is not something I want in my cunt, or even near my body.

Seriously, wtf Sex Toy Industry?

Searchin'

Someone came to my blog page by searching for "really tall femmes."

Ah! God Bless. Honey, you found one!!

Winner Winner Chicken Dinner

As a femme who loves -adores!- fashion I follow a lot of fashion related blogs. And, as much as I enjoy a good fashion blog I have to say there are not a whole lot of fashion blogs written by people larger than a size 10. But, one of my favorites, Big Girl Clothes Horse, is actually written by a gawgeous lady of wonderful curvacious proportions.

Ms. Big Girl Clothes Horse just hosted a contest for a new banner design for her blog. And guess what?? I won!

Here is a picture of the new banner:

And, here is a picture of the prize!:

Can you believe that ring?! The ring was donated to Ms. Big Girl Clothes Horse to give away on her blog. Can you get over her being able to let go of it?! Unbelieveable. The ring was donated from Chick Downtown. From the Chick Downtown website: "The single, beautifully sculpted naturalistic blossom glows brightly in rich 18kt gold over .925 sterling silver, set with a delicate, luminous 6mm cultured pearl for a subtly feminine accent. Handmade"

Needless to say, I feel like one very lucky and very pleased femme.

Letter to my 18 Year Old Self

Whew. This week has been tough. I just found out that my job -which I love, which I fought very hard to have, where I finally feel comfortable- may not exist for me anymore. The economy is hitting private schools hard and mine is no different. I won't know for a long time if I have a job next year. . .Which means, I am now job searching. I am also waiting to hear if I got into to grad school. Last year I was rejected from a different program, and it hit me pretty hard. . . So, I'm on pins ands needles. . . And, it leaves me thinking that if I don't get in, and I have no job then maybe that is the universe's way of saying: "Run! Don't walk away from this career!!"

There is a lot of unknowing and uncertainty in my life right now and I don't handle that very well.

The last time I can think of such a vast unknowingness is back when I was 18. I thought things were soooo tough. Lol. And, as this week will mark my 28th year on Earth (April 19th is the day) I thought I should write a letter to my 18 year old self.

Dear Lil Girl Hinterland,

Woman Hinterland here. . . We're nearly 28 now, and I thought I might send some information to you about where we are, who we are, things to avoid, and people to love.

1. Completely disregard your father's plan to make you live in the Sorority Rush dorm. I know you feel that strong filial obligation but let me clue you in: Honey, you are going to school on a full ride! Live where you want to live! Your parents are never going to really understand you might as well get used to that now.

2. Talk to people on your college campus more. You are pretty funny and are a great friend. People want to get to know you, but your icy and sometimes sad nature puts them off.

3. This body hate thing has got to go. Could you start working on that now please? We still have some self-hate issues here at nearly 28 and that is so exhausting. Basically, you are sick of yourself, so hop-to on that, yes?

4. You don't really like alcohol. Please do not feel compelled to drink 100 proof Southern Comfort or Jack straight from the bottle. . . Allow me to say that puking over a rotten chicken bone on Broad Street still dressed in the clothes from the night before, mascara streaking down your face, sans bra on UGA game day is embarrassing.

5. Have more fun. Please. For the love of God. Your ability to look good after a hard-night out is starting to wane here at 28. Take more advantage!!

6. DOUBLE MAJOR. Please. Grad school immediately after college too. . .And, not in ART!

7. You will work lots of shit jobs after college. For whatever reason, your most hard-won asset is your life experience, and you are getting ready for a crash course in your early to mid 20s. It'll suck a little, but it will be time well spent. I PROMISE.

8. You're gonna find out that you are great in a bar-fight. Like really damn great.

9. Go to every Crush Girls DJ party that you are able. They will break up -or something- way too soon. Go even if you have to go alone. We haven't experienced such a great dance party since; especially since Michael Stipe likes those parties too!

10. Remember when you were little and you told your best friend that your dream was to have a little house, a decent job, and a really cute dog? OMIGOD! We totally have that already at 28, so you need to dream bigger! Isn't that awesome!!

11. Honey, we own some fucking awesome shoes. Like Fucking Awesome Shoes.

12. You are a dyke. I know! You soooooo are. Don't giggle! For reals. You are. And, while we are on this topic could you please get us laid more in college? And, for the love of all that is holy stay away from the male bouncers at gay bars and any guy named "Colt."

13. Remember how you are convinced that you are going to live a spinster life Emily Dickinson, and that makes you kinda sad? You are actually quite the little social butterfly now.

14. You will final gain the courage and self-confidence to tell mean girls, bullies, and bitches everywhere to SUCK IT.

15. Your high school nemesis is still a bitch, and you get a sick sort of satisfaction out of that. . . Even at 28.

16. I know you think you are really tall. . .but you still have 2! more inches to go.

17. You are still learning to tolerate bureaucracy and simple-mindedness. The good news is that you have learned when to keep your big mouth shut.

18. I know Clayton County sucks. I know it is the worst job ever. But you can and do stick it out, and you do it with your head held high.

19. Today you are a divorcee of almost a year. . .And, oddly we have no regrets about it. It was right for you at the time in a bizarre sort of way.

20. I LOVE YOU, and when times are kinda tough here today at 28, I think back to you at 18, and I just know that you would think that our life is perfect today.

Cheers to our inherent perfection love!

xoxo

Spring Break!

I just got back from my very teacherly spring break where I spent every moment with my boyfriend. Grin!

I got a sweet little easter basket.

And with it a very, very, very big surprise early Birthday Present (the big day is April 19th).

And he got lots and lots of kisses and hugs and thank-yous, and omigoshes!!!!

Overall, It was an awesome week!